Inspirational Success Stories
Lorraine
My name is Lorraine Dillard and I am an alumni of Felicity House. My sobriety date is April 19, 2006. I will have 3 years sober coming up. After leaving a treatment program, I came to Felicity House in February of 2007 and was a resident through Feb 2009. Yes, that means I spent two years in this safe haven and my experience there has become a cornerstone of recovery journey.
For me it has taken twenty-five years, three different treatment programs and three previous residences at other sober living homes to get these three years. What happened was I just couldn’t stay sober. I could get sober but I just couldn’t stay that way consistently. I found out later that all along I had a reservation in the back of my mind that I could drink like a normal person. I now know that is not my truth. I will never be able to take a drink without consequences.
After a third relapse and returning to treatment again, this time at New Directions, a program for veteran women and dependents for veterans, I discovered some things about myself that I did not know earlier. One was that I always moved too fast. I always wanted to give the appearance that all was well on the outside-so I always had the plan that you get the things back (i.e. job, car, place to live, “him”, the child back) and I thought that meant your life was back on track. But as I discovered, uncovered and discarded old ideas about who I was and how my life should be, I listened to suggestions from others who were on this recovery path before me. One of the suggestions was from women who had gone through Felicity House sober and were staying sober and their lives were going to new levels.
So I saw the common denominator to be a safe, long-term structured environment that could shield me from the everyday stressors and triggers that were part of leaving treatment and beginning to live life on life’s terms. So I moved into sober living at Felicity House, (with a plan once again – to only be there 6 months). I began to change-thus, two years later my life has changed. Felicity house is the place where I learned to be myself, I learned that it was okay to not have to rush off into the world and make my place, I learned to value sisterhood in recovery and that is such an awesome gift to be given friends that care and are concerned about you. Felicity was the place where service part of recovery finally stuck in my psyche. I stayed there long enough to become the house senior and to be an example for other women who came in. It was there that I was able to share my whole self with other women, to not think of myself constantly and to provide unconditional love to another suffering alcoholic. I also was able to allow myself enough time to set realistic goals so that I could accomplish them without being overwhelmed.
I was able to walk through many things while living at Felicity House and I am so grateful that I was allowed to stay around that long. God knows, I needed those women and I needed that nurturing, loving, warm environment to grow in.
So you know I graduated from Felicity House just this March and I am now a proud Felicity Friend who supports the house-I sell raffle tickets, I attend the regular meeting at the house, I have a commitment and I stay connected to the women who are still coming through to be nurtured, loved and feel safe as they grow in recovery. I am no longer that person who could only get sober, I am the woman who is learning how to stay sober!
Peace and blessings to each of you.
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Abigail
I was 28 years old and my life was a “do over”. Maybe I was fried from years of drug addiction or maybe I was tired from my last relationship. I gave Brent, my X, everything including my sense of self. I was clueless and scared and living in a seedy motel in Culver City. I knew no one in LA except for the few people I recently met In AA. I couldn’t stay sober and I did not know how to live. I was unemployed, broke, emotionally volatile and hopeless. My sponsor suggested I check out The Felicity House. One week later I moved in.
For the first time in years I felt safe. It became apparent to me that my life was not the only “do over” and that my housemates were also trying to change and grow. I got a job and learned how to pay my bills. After a few months I learned to pay my bills on time. From my first night at Felicity I knew I was not alone. The laughter, love and support of the other residents filled me with hope and the possibilities of a new life.
At Felicity House I learned how to be accountable. And I learned how to communicate honestly. My first lesson was when Claire, the house senior, asked me, “Did you use the last of my coffee?” “Of course not!” I replied. Claire sighed and looked me in the eye and said, “Abby. Did you drink the last of my coffee?” “I did. I’m sorry.” I grunted while staring at my feet. I was embarrassed and…. a strange thing happened. Claire said, “Just let me know if you use the last of something so I can replace it.” Claire showed me that it was safe to be honest and it was safe to do something “wrong” Claire did not throw me away. In fact, we are still friends today.
The Felicity House taught me how to set goals and attain them. Once a month the residents had to meet with the director and discuss their goals. I started small. I learned how to make a budget. I learned to be on time and to always call if I was running late. I learned how to show up, no matter what, even if I did not feel like it. I learned how to do chores. And I learned the consequences of not doing my chore. Although I had attended NYU I had not held a real job in a several years. Felicity House taught me how to look for a job, show up for work and when the time came, how to get a better job. I learned how to be a resident in the house and how to be a friend. Most importantly, I learned how to identify my feelings and give them a name. I learned that it was Ok to feel angry and that this to shall pass. I learned how to write inventories. Through this process I began to have a relationship with myself. And I started to like me.
After I moved out of The Felicity House I continued to go the Wednesday night meeting and for a season I was the meeting secretary. And it was Felicity House and AA that taught me the truth about life the more I give the more I get to live. The Felicity House is where my new adventure began.
Today I am a graduate student at Antioch University. I work part time for my families business. I am a member of the board of directors at The Felicity House. It is a great gift to sit on the board with other women who were in the house with me and other successful women who lived in the house before me. These gifts are priceless. We are not the same people who walked into this recovery house a few years ago. We are responsible, beautiful women who recognize our own worth, each other and the importance of giving back I am forever grateful to The Felicity House for teaching me how to live and how to enjoy sobriety and life.
Abigail sitting on the Banyan tree in Bali ‘06
